Potty Emergency

 

(Everyone remembers this classic episode, right?)

This is a true story, though parts of it may or may not have been embellished to make it better. 

I finally got to go in to work today for the first time.  I haven’t been allowed to go in because Korea hasn’t completed and returned my criminal background check yet for this employment with the Department of Energy at Idaho National Laboratories.  They filed a waiver for me which came through last week allowing me to start today.  So being my first day, they sat all of the new hires down in a conference room and pelted us with PowerPoint slides about anything and everything relating to our new employer.

In the back of the room, there were snacks including muffins, coffee, water, and some fruits.  After an hour or so, I got up and poured myself a glass of water.  It was really good chilled water.  The cup wasn’t large, it probably held only about 8 oz. or so.  After about 30 minutes we had a scheduled break and I was dying to use the bathroom.  So I ran in there and relieved myself. 

Since the water was so good, on my way back to my seat, I refilled my cup with some more water and drank it.  Pretty soon it was lunch time and I was on my way out to the car to get my lunch that was stowed in the trunk.  On the way, I realized that I had to go use the restroom again.  It was probably about an hour after my second cup of water, but since I was on lunch and I didn’t really have a way back into the facility until shortly before 1, I decided to hold it. 

I went to a nearby LDS church and ate lunch in the parking lot and on the bleachers by the baseball field adjacent to the parking lot.  The urge had left me and I turned on a sports talk show that I enjoy listening to.  At the end of the show, I took a swig from a water bottle that was in the car and remembered my need to use the bathroom.  Luckily it was almost 1, so somebody would be at the doors to let me in since I didn’t have my ID card yet. 

I drove maybe a little faster than normal to the building and hurried myself through the parking lot and into the building.  Immediately, I made a beeline for the urinal.  (I bet you thought that I wasn’t going to make it in time, or I was going to have an accident, didn’t you?) After using the bathroom, the lady in charge told me and another kid there that all of the training computers were being used and we would be taken down the hall to do some other paperwork, and then we would switch places with the others.

Well, we went down the hall and proceeded to fill out paperwork.  After completing about 5 different forms, we were taken into an onsite medical facility where they took our height, weight, and had us read the lines on the posters to check our eyes.  Then they called me back and produced a urine cup explaining that I needed to give them a sample to be drug tested.  I was a bit embarrassed, and told the lady, I don’t think I can go because I had just gone maybe 6 minutes ago.  She said she just needed a little so give it a try. 

I took the cup into the bathroom.  I was worried because I really had no desire or urge at all to use the bathroom.  (This is the real emergency) I stood there in the bathroom trying to will myself to go, but I couldn’t.  I was thinking of waterfalls, sprinklers, pouring water, anything to trigger the urge.  But I was pretty empty.  I thought I may have to sit in the office for a while before producing the required amount.  Luckily, just as I thought I would give up, success!

I took the cup back to the lady praying that it was enough.  It was below the line she told me I had to fill it to, but as she poured it into the vial, we saw it fill it up perfectly.  I mentioned to the lady that if I had known about needing the urine, I would’ve been able to wait to use the bathroom so that I was sure to have enough.  She told me that if I knew, then it wouldn’t have been a random test.    So, Cheers to my amazing body that was able to produce the exact amount of waste needed on the spot and in a pressure situation.  Definitely not your typical potty emergency.

Recent Acquisition

A little over a week ago, I got my graduation present in the mail. Well, I guess I purchased it with some money that I was given for graduation (Thanks again Mom, Dad, and Grandma Hansen). The item I purchased is a remote controlled airplane. It is a replica of a F-86 Sabre made of EPO (Expanded PolyOlefin) foam which is powered by an electric motor which blows air through a duct running the length of the airplane. The plane came in a box and it was completely in pieces. Luckily, I've built a lot of models in my youth, so it's very simple to piece together. The trouble is finding a glue that will hold it properly.

Online, I have found countless threads talking about the benefits and drawbacks to almost every glue. I purchased a glue that should work (basically it is just super glue). The trouble I'm having is figuring out the best method for applying and curing the glue. Since I have no idea of the best way, I am just doing it the best I can and hoping that the wings don't fall off mid-flight.

Here are some pictures of the process.

1. Had to glue on the tail stabilizers/elevators
2. Had to attach the push rods to the control horns and the control horns to the elevators.
3. Had to attach the wing assembly to the fuselage.5. Still remaining to do: Attach the vertical stabilizer, attach the bombs to the wings, build battery charger, install the battery, go have some fun flying it. (This is more like what it will finally look like)

Along with the new plane, I had to get a more intense transmitter. This is a 4 channel transmitter which means it can control the throttle, elevators, ailerons, and rudder
More to come as I get more done.

Book Review - Artemis Fowl

I was hoping that this book would last a little longer than it did. I borrowed it from Rob and Lindsey for this summer since our internet usage will be a bit more limited than normal and I needed some things to entertain me besides watching stuff online. Well, I pulled the book out of its box on Sunday or Monday and I’m done with it now. Luckily I also borrowed this book’s sequel from Rob and Lindsey.

Rob warned me that the writing was a little bit elementary, and it was. But that didn’t distract from the entertaining story. I guess the juvenile quality of this book contributed to the speed with which I moved through the book.

The book is about a 12 year old named Artemis Fowl who is a genius and hatches schemes to earn money and gain power and influence. He kidnaps a fairy in hopes of extracting a large gold ransom from the fairy civilization.

I thought the story was very creative, bringing fairy tale stories to life. The most entertaining part of the book to me was how the author explained and gave evidence of the reality of Dwarfs, Goblins, Fairies, and Trolls. He attributes natural phenomenon with these fictitious civilizations.

All in all, a good, entertaining read. I give it a rating of 3 out of 4.

One More Day

Only one more day before I graduate from college with a bachelor's degree in Mechanical Engineering. Only one more night (tonight) before my last presentation for an undergraduate class. Maybe I should be sleeping so that I'm rested for my very important presentation? Nah!

Instead I am up listening to the Suns game. They are destroying Portland right now. I may be drowsy tomorrow in my final, but just hearing Al McCoy put the game "In the Deep Freeze" makes it all worth it. The other part that makes it worth it is that Shanna let me stay up and listen to it, which means that she won't be mad at me for making her go to bed alone.

I must say, I'm pretty lucky that Shanna lets me watch/participate in as many sports as she does. She's awesome! and she got a new haircut today that looks really good.

Sorry, boring post. If you want something interesting to read, click here.

Family History

Have you guys seen that new show on TV that's called "Who Do You Think You Are?" I watched one episode of it and I thought that it was pretty cool. If you haven't, it's a show that takes some major celebrities (Emmett Smith, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, etc)I'm and tracks their family history back in time. The reason they use celebrities I'm sure is to get viewers to watch, but to me the cool part wasn't that there were celebrities, but the fact that the celebrities were actually getting excited learning about their ancestors. It kind of reminded me that I should be doing the same.

Recently, my dad gave me a copy of his dad's personal history because I kept asking him for it. I have already read some of it, most of it actually, and I am enjoying re-reading it now. I find it really interesting to read about how his life was similar to mine and the many ways in which it was much different. My Grandma Hansen sent me a thick stack of papers that details many of my ancestors going back well into the 1800's. This was also very interesting, and it was enlightening to read about the trials, joys, and hardships that were experienced in a time without any of the nice luxuries that we have today. I'm glad to have all of these in my possession.

I find many stories in these histories to be very amusing and enlightening. One story that I read tonight in my Grandpa Selin's history was particularly interesting, though it wasn't about him. In the chapter he wrote about his brother, he mentions a time when his brother was on night guard in the Army. He took a grenade and pulled the pin. He then passed the live grenade off to the person who relieved him at his post. The grenade served to keep him and the next man awake and alert while on guard duty, owing to their great desire and attention to not set off the pin-less grenade. Then as grandpa often does, he relates the story to a gospel principle.

I'm grateful for all of my faithful ancestors and the things that I can learn from them.

Bowling for T-Shirts

I'm in a bowling class here at BYU. I've taken the class a few times because the cost for it is hidden in with my tuition so it feels like I get to go for free. So, I get to bowl for an hour twice a week. I've really been able get some basic techniques down and I can even get my ball to hook pretty accurately. Let alone it's not a big drastic hook like the pro's use, but it induces some pretty good pin action. (Usually)

The BYU Games Center, where the bowling alley is, has a policy that if you bowl a 200 or more, you get a free t-shirt. They also have a policy that if you get 4 strikes in a row then you get a free game coupon. If your score is over 200 and the highest score on the particular lane you're bowling on for the month then you get your name and score on the high score board.

The alley has 3 styles of shirt, and I had won two of them prior to the beginning of the semester. I've been trying to score over 200 again so that I could get the last shirt, and then I could start winning shirts for Shanna.

Until last week I had been bowling pretty well, but hadn't had any real high scoring games. Last Wednesday I told my buddy in my class that it was about time for a big score. Sure enough, that day I bowled a 219. I missed 2 pins over the entire game, and picked up a nice string of 4 strikes in a row. A girl from the Games Center ran over asking who had just bowled 4 strikes in a row and then gave me a free game coupon. On my way out I snagged the last shirt I needed for my collection. I wrote down my bowling name (Eban Sr.)for them to put on the wall and was on my way to my next class.

Then on Monday, I wasn't really expecting to do too well, but I put together a 203, and on a different lane than last Wednesday. I also managed 4 strikes in a row. So I walked up to the desk and asked for my shirt and free game. The girl said that I could have one or the other. I told her that last time (the previous Wednesday) they had given me both a shirt and a free game. Big Mistake. She notified me that you can only win one shirt per semester. So sorry Shanna, no shirts for you. She was nice though and hooked me up with two more free game coupons. Not to mention my name got put up on the board on a second lane.

Wednesday we were bowling for seeding in a tournament that we will be doing. Maybe it was the pressure of a looming tournament, but I bowled very poorly the first two games, barely breaking 100 both times. Then on the third game, I got back in the groove and put up a nice 210. Again I asked for a free game, which I got. Unfortunately, I bowled the 210 on the same lane I bowled the 219 so I didn't get my name up again. That's ok though.

So, for three straight classes I've gone for more that 200. Here's hoping that streak will continue through the tournament so that I can lead my team to victory over the rest of the class.(And get more free games) Scott and I did it when we took the class together. My team won my class tournament last semester too. We'll see if my luck continues...

School and Work Update

I know that a lot of you know what I do at work, but you probably don't know what I do. I'm posting a video of an application that I recently wrote. I wrote it for a class that I am in, but the class that I am in is sponsored by the company that I do research for. So basically, my class teaches how to do things that I do in research.

What I tell people that I do is CAD (Computer Aided Design) Tool Customization. What that means is I write computer programs that can do various things inside of the CAD programs. The program that we use most is Nx, which was formerly Unigraphics. So we find the CAD program's API, which is a set of programming functions that do the things that clicking the mouse on buttons usually does. (for example, your internet browser has a back button and a refresh button and a home button. Each button probably has at least one function associated with it that tells your computer what to do when it is pushed) Once we have all of the functions that we need, we can use them to do things automatically in our CAD program. This saves engineering companies time and money.

Anyways, this video shows a program that I wrote that builds an airfoil (airplane wing shape). It asks the user to input several values that will define the geometry and then when the user hits "OK" it builds it up automatically. The video shows me running the program twice with different inputs, some pretty normal ones and then some more extreme values. I rotate the part around manually after it builds so that you can see the built parts from different angles. This is probably boring all of you. But it's basically my life...Sad, huh? (but I like it)...(most of the time)...

Book Review - Where Men Win Glory

Probably not too many people have heard of this book, Where Men Win Glory. Many of you will probably however recognize the name in the subtitle: "The Odyssey of Pat Tillman". Some will know him from football. I know that I first heard of him when he was playing linebacker at ASU. Then I knew him as a safety for the Arizona Cardinals, the professional football team of Arizona. Most who don't follow football however will recognize him for being the football player who turned down millions of dollars playing football to enlist in the Army shortly after the 9/11 attacks.

Jon Krakauer, famous for his book "Into Thin Air" about the Mt. Everest disaster, takes on the story of Pat Tillman in this recent publication (2009). It tells of Pat's background and gives a fairly good picture of the kind of person that he was. The life experiences shared do a good job of explaining why he wanted to put away football, for a few seasons, and go fight for his country. I thought that it was funny that it described many of Pat's Mormon friends who got in a big fight due to their intoxication. Some of the Mormons described weren't drunk but were planning on getting drunk. Anyways, that fight was a turning point in Pat's life.

The book also taught me many many interesting aspects of Afghanistan's history and political troubles that I had never even heard of. Things like how the CIA had given millions of dollars in cash and training to Muslim insurgents while they were fighting off a Russian invasion. This is how many of the Taliban leaders became leaders. Now we all know how these extremists feel about the US. I know probably 30 times more than I previously knew about the state of life, politics, and terror plots in Afghanistan.

The main subject of the book, however, is the death of Tillman by friendly fire, and the Army's apparent attempt to mask the truth of his death, whether intentional or unintentional. It's really sad that in war, even with modern technology and extensive training, friendly fire deaths are still a real threat to the lives of a soldier. That people must die is a sad fact, but friendly fire just seems even more depressing.

I absolutely loved this book. I could hardly put it down just because it mixed sports and interesting politics and current events. (We all know that I'm a ..... "Sports Fan". Right, Dave?) But the things I didn't like were: 1. There is a bit of swearing, because Krakauer uses lots of quotes and he's quoting soldiers. 2. He talks a lot about the government deliberately misleading the public, presenting it as if it is the "norm". I like to think that the government normally acts honestly, with dishonesty being the exception. It definitely seems that in the case of Tillman though that some misleading information was given both to the family and the public, for the purpose of selling a "good image" to the American public.

Read the book and decide for yourself.

Book Review - We Might As Well Win

I went out and bought this book shortly after Christmas with some Christmas money. It is written by Johann Bruyneel, Lance Armstrong's cycling coach and coach of Alberto Contador another two time Tour de France champion. It was written after he had "retired" from coaching, kind of like Brett Favre retiring from football. At the time he had coached 8 Tour de France champions, Lance 7 times and Alberto once. Since then Alberto has won again and Lance has un-retired and recruited Bruyneel to coach his new team, Team Radioshack.

The book basically details several of Bruyneel's experiences through life and how they helped him to become a winner. He talks at length about what he has learned from winning and what he has learned from losing. These experiences combined to make him stronger for future victories. From a motivational standpoint, it's really kind of ho-hum, making points that I thought were pretty obvious to most people. But he does show how much winning is more a state of mind than a point in time or the luck of the draw.

What I really liked about the book is the countless stories that he uses to illustrate his points. (Ok, I could count them, but I'm not going to) In each chapter, he uses at least one example from either his racing days or his coaching days to illustrate the particular point that he's trying to make. The stories he tells are funny, interesting, and amazing. If you don't know really how pro cycling works or what the method to the madness is, you will by the end of this book because Bruyneel does a good job of explaining it in an interesting way.

So basically this book is a book full of cycling stories, and a very quick read. I normally rate books on a 3 point scale, so I would give this one a 2/3 because I enjoy the subject. For non-cycling fans, I think it may be interesting just because it explains how the sport works by the means of great story telling.

A Few Things I Know About Calvin

1. He loves his mommy.
2. He likes music. (This gives me an excuse to sing my favorite songs out loud to him)
3. He stops crying when you hold him up in the air.
4. He loves to look at the picture of the temple and our wedding on the wall.
5. He doesn't like taking his bath.
6. He's the best high rainbow arc over-the-head pee-er I've ever seen.
7. He doesn't like getting his diaper changed.
8. His hands get cold easily.
9. He's pretty tough. (Minimal crying at the doctor's office when he got his shot, and minor surgery)
10. His hair gets pretty greasy.(But I think that's also due to Shanna always touching his head)