I've always loved wearing socks. When I was little, I would rather wear socks around the house than go barefoot. I also would rather wear socks outside than shoes. This probably bothered my mom because I wore them out so quickly. I like to think of myself as a connoisseur of fine socks. My whole mission, people gave me socks for presents. I think that's the standard gift in Korea, because I got a whole lot of them.
I like to always have nice thick socks that don't have holes in them. Once a sock even hints that it could become a transparent mesh of fine string (you know what I'm talking about, right?) I get rid of it or stuff it in the far reaches of the drawer so that there is no possibility of accidentally donning it in a rush. I like to think that if I keep my socks nice, my shoes won't be as stinky.
So, with this background in mind, as Bill Nye the Science Guy would put it, "Consider the Following":
When a new pair of socks is born, it is a clean slate, fresh, unpolluted, and each sock is fairly symmetric about its center line (the line that runs from heel to the gap between your 2nd and 3rd toe, counting from your big toe). However, after one or two times of wearing the sock, it begins to develop a personality of its own. Some socks get dirtier due to rain, mud, sand, etc. The main way in which they distinguish themselves though is by which side of the sock "relaxes" to accommodate the big toe. A difference between a right foot sock and a left foot sock can be evident after just one wearing. This, of course, is almost entirely dependent on which foot you wear the sock on for the first time. So, in order for me to thoroughly enjoy my socks every day, it is imperative that my right socks be grouped with a left sock when they are folded. I can't stand to wear a left foot sock on my right foot because there is tons of space by my littlest piggie while it should be snuggled in tight to the foot by the sock. It is easy to group rights and lefts on church socks and socks with designs on them, but my wife, Shanna, refuses to go through my plain socks and match them up for me when she does the laundry. She simply dumps them all into my drawer as individual socks, which forces me to fish through the drawer each morning until I can catch me a lefty and a righty.
Somebody out there has to have some sympathy for me, right? Or is this something that labels me "strange"?
Sadie is 16
3 weeks ago
12 comments:
None from me. I spent years making sure the socks were all right side out before pairing. Then I figured if the wearer doesn't take enough care to take their socks off right way out why should I care about how they are returned to the wearer. If you remember I even coaxed Scott into inventing a "sock turner outer" for an invention convention of some kind. I still refuse to turn socks - let alone matching righties with lefties. Just ask dad.
Oh boy...
What on earth?
That was me mom. My sock turner outer was the best!
What in the world? I think you have a little ocd going on there. I have never heard of a right sock or a left sock. If there was such a thing they would label it on the sock. Shanna is doing the right thing:)
I love Bill Nye.
Oh, one more comment...be glad she's doing your laundry. (or did your laundry). With the little guy now here - you might be doing your own whitey-tighty socks.
Here is the solution to your problem - make sure that every pair of socks you own is different. That way, every time you pair them up you have a righty paired with a lefty. Don't you just love the solutions engineers come up with?
-Dad
By the way, feel free to send all those similar pairs of socks down to me - I'll take care of them to help you solve your problem.
-Dad
Sorry about giving Scott credit for the Sock-Turner-Outer. It was a great little gadget. When you made that handy little tool - you were my hero.
That's just about the funniest thing I've ever heard!
haha, man, I stop checking your blog for the semester and here's a million posts. seriously, my mom loved this post. and it is pretty funny, though, i don't really have sympathy. I do know what you're talking about but, my socks rarely match, let alone have one of each foot. you just shove and go...right?
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